How Dan is celebrating his Birthday

In celebration of Dan's birthday, he's put in an order for the world's largest bottle of Jager and Redbull. This should be enough to supply every citizen of Metro Detroit a Jagerbomb to celebrate Dan's birthday. He'll be handing out shots to the general public tonight at Ford Field, beginning at 7 PM. Come get a free Jagerbomb from Dan himself, in honor of his birthday (rumor has it he'll also be handing out $100 bills!) Happy Birthday, Dan!

(Photo Credit: Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

Dan Buys the Stanley Cup!

Quote from Dan: "It's mine, you can't have it!"

Dan, wanting to live out his pro hockey dreams, bought the Stanley Cup this week. As per usual, he paid with a large burlap sack of cash. Photos above include Dan with his newly acquired toy and NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman showing off the money at a press conference.

(Photo Credits: Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

Dan Starts Clothing Line

What do rich people do? They start clothing lines. Just ask P. Diddy, Eminem and countless others (even Donald Trump has his own lines of suits. Ironically, they are of poor quality). Anyway, Dan started his own Golf related clothing line in tribute to the rich man's game. As you can see, he drew his inspiration from the late great Payne Stewart. This clothing line is such a success that he's even drawing up endorsements from Tiger Woods. Looking good, Dan!

(Photo Credit: Jon Ashley)

Dan's Dream to Play for The Detroit Tigers

It has always been Dan’s dream to play 3rd base for the Tigers. However, that dream seemed nearly impossible when Miguel Cabrera came to town, and even more so out of reach when Carlos Guillen was moved to 3rd. But then Dan thought to himself, “wait a minute, I’ll just buy the team and insert myself at 3rd base!” And that’s exactly what he did.

Carlos Guillen will be back on first, and Miguel Cabrera will become a very highly paid butler in the Pasque residence.

(Photo Credits: Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

Dan Buys Afghanistan

After his earlier acquisition of Mexico, he thought he'd hold another authentic cultural party by purchasing yet another nation. Not sure how he arrived at this decision, but he ended purchasing Afghanistan. As you can see, the authentic Afghanistan themed party doesn't quite pack the same punch as Cinco De Mayo, but it still looks like a good time nonetheless. Pictured above is Dan partying with our friend Brent who is stationed over there at the moment.

(Photo credits: Skyler Nelles and Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

Springtime BBQ: Dan Pasque Style

Dan's recipe for his down home burgers:

• 1/2 pound of Ground Beef
• Cheddar Cheese
• Onions
• Tomatoes
• Peppers
• Two pieces of bacon
• Burn $10,000 in cash to heat up the grill prior to cooking. The money smoke creates a wonderful flavor.
• Grill meat to your liking.
• Eat and Enjoy!

(Photo Credit: Lauren Mussin and Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

Dan Shows Oprah How It's Done.

As you already know, Dan is the person responsible for funding those fancy economic stimulus checks that you will all be enjoying. Well he didn't stop there...we here at the "Dan is Rich" Blog just received word that Dan purchased every registered driver in the United States a brand new Ford Focus (take that, Oprah). This means that approximately 200 million people around the United States will be receiving a free car some time in the next 6-8 weeks.

On another positive note, the nearly 3 trillion dollars of revenue that Ford stands to receive from this deal will result in 2 million jobs being created in the state of Michigan. Among those jobs will be an additional 100 butlers in the Pasque residence. (Photo Credit: Skyler Nelles)

Cinco de Mayo Update: Exclusive First Look at the Updated Mexican Flag!

As you already know, Dan purchased the nation of Mexico yesterday so he could host an authentic Cinco de Mayo party (pictures below). Well, he redesigned the flag and made beer pong the new national sport! Oh, the things you can do when you purchase a whole nation. Way to go, Dan! Rumors of further nation purchasing are abundant, make sure check back to the OFFICIAL Dan is Rich blog for further details. (Photo credit: Jon Ashley)

Cinco de Mayo Update: Photos from Dan's Mexican Party

As you already know, Dan purchased the country of Mexico this morning so he could host an authentic Cinco de Mayo Party. Well, we've got the exclusive photos of the partying right here on the official Dan is Rich blog!  Britney Spears herself is in attendance, knowing Dan will float her some cash, which she desperately needs.  Dan knows how to spend his money, and he knows how to party!  (Photo Credits: Skyler Nelles and Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

How Dan is celebrating Cinco de Mayo

He wanted an authentic Cinco de Mayo, so he literally bought Mexico. As per usual, he paid with a large burlap sack full of cash. Dan is hosting his party in Mexico tonight, but it's invite only. The Mexican border patrol will be checking your invitations. Happy Cinco de Mayo! (Photo credit: Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

Dan's Alcohol Fueled Impulse Purchase

Remember that time Dan got wasted and bought the Egyptian Pyramids?  We figured you might have forgotten about that, but thankfully a photographer was on hand at the time of the transaction.  After a long night of drinking, Dan decided he was tired of Egypt always bragging about their sweet pyramids and that he was going to do something about it.  Being the Patriot he is, Dan bought the pyramids out from underneath the Egyptian government and had the property annexed into the United States.  He wanted the rest of the world to know that we are indeed #1, so he made sure to bring his giant foam finger just to clear up any confusion. Mission accomplished, Dan! (Photo Credit: Chris Casazza)

The Truth Behind the Economic Stimulus Plan

Most of you are likely aware of the fact that the economic stimulus checks have started being paid out this week. What you are all probably unaware of is that our friend, Dan Pasque, is the one responsible for funding the stimulus. The Government’s money is tied up fighting wars and making sure gays can’t get married, so Dan volunteered to give every tax paying American $600 in order to stimulate our slowing economy. The President knew that only the richest of rich would be able to help support such an initiative…and that’s why W. has Dan on speed dial. Dan was happy to help the President, just like he would to help any of us. So he filled two large, clearly labeled burlap sacks with money from his vault and delivered it to the President personally. (Photo Credit: Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)

The cat's out of the bag: Dan is rich

Welcome to the official "Dan is Rich" blog, dedicated to our friend Dan and his vast wealth. As you can see from this photo, Dan has a massive amount of money that he keeps in some sort of vault, not unlike Scrooge McDuck. Dan's a real old school rich guy who prefers not to invest his money, but rather keep it around for it's aesthetic value. He's been known to swim and/or roll around in it.

This is something that we've all known about for quite some time. I first grew suspicious of Dan's wealth when I was using his bathroom. He was out of toilet paper, so he handed me a handful of $100 bills and said "Eh, just use this. It's just money that I won during my poker game with Bill Gates". My suspicions of Dan's wealth were confirmed when I saw him at the Shell Station pumping gas into the sewer because "he felt like wasting money". That's one hell of a hobby if you ask me.

This blog will be dedicated to sharing stories and pictures about Dan's wealth, so please check back frequently. But don't think that Dan is some sort of superior being just because of his worth, in reality he's a regular American like the rest of us. As he once said in an email:

"I'm just like all of you. When I wake up in the morning my butler dresses me and puts my pants on me one leg at a time just like everyone else."

We love you, Dan. (Photo Credit: Dave "Dolo" Dolinshek)